Apparently, there are Five Stages of Grief. I forget exactly what they are, but the list went something like this: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance and, er, Going Shopping. I may have got that last one wrong. And anyway, right now, under the shadow of the Coronavirus Lockdown, there's not much shopping to be done, unless the vegetable aisle at Tesco's is your idea of retail therapy.
You might think that there's not much mediation to be done under a lockdown either, but, fortunately for a bear whose profession is mediating, there's always the option of mediating online. We've all become Zoom experts during the lockdown, and learned that you can do all kinds of things online that you would never have thought possible (a virtual haircut, anyone?). Including mediating online, which works astonishingly well. Our customised Zoom platform has "rooms" for joint sessions, private "rooms" where the parties and their advisor can meet with or without thte mediator, the ability to share documents, there's even a flip chart! Yes, really.
But the elephant in the zoom remains that there are some who believe that mediation can't possibly work online, and therefore won't even try it. I get that. In fact, I have a confession to make. Before my first online mediation, which is many years ago now, I was of the same view. "Mediation is all about the relationship the mediator forms with the parties" I thought. Well, I was wrong. Or rather, I was right: mediation is all about the relationship the mediator builds with the parties, but you can build that over a video conference just as well. Fortunately, I was persuaded to try it (in a case where one party was in Japan and the other in the UK, and it was either a video mediation or no mediation) and I've never looked back.
So, for anyone out there who's of the same view that I had, here are the Five Stages of Accepting Online Mediation: 1. Denial (when online mediation is first suggested): "You can't mediate on line. It's all about the relationship / about the forensic study of the documents / about challenging the other side's case robustly, and that can't happen online". 2. Bargaining: "OK. I'm prepared to accept that some cases can be mediated on line. Just not this one. This is too complex / too polarised / too emotional / too unemotional ". 3. Begrudging Acceptance: "Oh, alright then. If it has to be online. But it won't work, and you heard it here first". 4. Partial Acceptance (this one is about noon on the mediation day): "Actually, this is working ok isn't it?". 5. Full Acceptance (after the mediation): "That was brilliant! I'll never travel to another mediation! See, I knew it would work!".
Stay safe.
Stupid Bear
